Twilight series summary?

Someone posted this on the IMDb boards, which was apparently originally posted on ONTD or something. Watch out for spoilers if you haven't read the books (I don't think anyone really reads this anyway lol)!

BELLA: No, Edward, you don't understand. I love you more.
EDWARD: Impossible... *gentle kisses*
BELLA: *is an idiot*
EDWARD: *soft laughter* Oh you are so precious to me...
BELLA: I want to be a vampire. Make me a vampire. DO IT.
EDWARD: *pain in his eyes* *pushes her away* I couldn't possibly...
BELLA: I'm not ready yet either. *cuddles*
EDWARD: *knowing chuckle* Oh Bella......
JACOB: Hey, Bella. Dammit, I'm hot as *beep*, huge, half-naked and fun--and I'm totally in love with you and it ain't gonna change and pleeeease let me touch and kiss you and rock your world! COME OOONNNN!!! *whines* *begs* *grinds*
EDWARD: *growls* Insolent dog...
BELLA: Go away, stupid Jacob! I belong to Edward!
JACOB: COME ONNN!!!! NNNGGGHH!!! *greases himself up* *humpa humpa humpa* YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT!!! XXXB
BELLA: Oh, my Jacob...
EDWARD: *coldly* I won't force you, Bella. If it's what your heart wants...
BELLA: *wants Jacob* I want YOU, Edward! *clings*
ME: GODDAMN IT!! >:B

~~~

BELLA: *does all the *beep* housework*
CHARLIE: *lays on the couch* *watches football* You know that Jacob kid would make one hell of a son in law!
BELLA: *rolls eyes* Dad, I'm with Edward.
CHARLIE: *scowls* >:(
[ REPEAT 10,000 TIMES ]

~~~

BELLA: Let's *beep* let's *beep* let's *beep*, Edward DO ME Edward PLEASE
EDWARD: *tries to keep it together* I... am... trying... not... to... kill... you... *strains*
BELLA: PLEEEEEEEEASE
EDWARD: Wait---*whisks her away to the most romantic setting on the planet so everything is perfect*---OKAY NOW. Now we can do it.
BELLA: I CHANGED MY MIND TAKE ME HOME.
EDWARD'S PENIS: WHYYYYYYYY ;0;

Baaahahaha. Don't get me wrong, I love Twilight, but that's so (pretty much) true xD. Hilarious!

Now go read Twilight if you haven't already! Lol.

*~Danielle~*